A Parrot in the Pepper Tree by Chris Stewart.

           A Parrot in the Pepper Tree by Chris Stewart.

"What should you wear in bed when you're waiting for someone to come and kill you? I decided on a tee-shirt and underpants as my battle costume."

"A Parrot in the Pepper Tree" is another extremely entertaining and informative read , a fitting follow-up to "Driving Over Lemons." Lorca, renamed Porca , a Quaker Parakeet, not a parrot, makes his debut, besotted with Ana Stewart but wildly suspicious of Chris.

We begin in Sweden with freezing temperatures of minus twenty-five degrees, six hours of non-stop late night driving, lashing ice and endless blackness. To keep himself awake and alive, Stewart resorted to practising his Mandarin Chinese which he had been trying to learn for years. Imagine being beset by a vivid image of death by freezing as he headed towards Norrskoy. He spent a month in these freezing conditions, shearing sheep to cover the costs of running his farm in Andalucia. Stewart called it his "annual purgatory."

Driving a dodgy hired car from Weekie's Car Lot outside of Copenhagen, with the engine shuddering and spluttering was bad enough but probably the most dangerous hazard would have been the elks that would hurtle themselves across the bonnet of the vehicle, through the windscreen and into the cabin. Forests were literally swarming with these blighters. His first job was one of the grimmest jobs he'd done in the ten years of working here in Sweden. It sounds like fun.

Once he reached Orgiva, the western Alpujarras, the familiar smell of coffee, garlic and black tobacco revived him, welcoming him home to Spain. His motley of Spanish farmers provided the black humour that characterises his writing. Bernardo and his recently deceased Pekinese dog, the Moffli, lodged on a branch in a tree amuses Stewart for the wrong reasons of course.

The summer when Stewart returned from Sweden plunges us into a scene from the Middle Ages. Stewart was asked to intervene in a domestic dispute between a local shepherd, Juan Gallego and Petra his Danish lover. She had had enough of his moods and wildness, giving him an ultimatum. He threatened her once she had announced she was leaving him. When Stewart became involved this angered Juan who then threatened the writer that he wouldn't get home alive. This culminated in Chris retiring to his roof to keep watch for his warlike neighbour with his mattock at his side! "In those dark hours before dawn" he would attack. Stewart froze with fear and shivered on the roof waiting… He was called a "homicidal shepherd" well-known for carrying a 10 inch navajon.

Nat, his London editor phoned Spain with welcoming news regarding "Driving Over Lemons" which was to be read on Radio 4 and it was being ordered all over the place. The Daily Mail sent out William Leith (Leaf the Male), one of their top reporters and a couple of photographers to promote Stewart and his book. Leith seemed particularly interested in Stewart's early associations with Peter Gabriel and Genesis whilst at boarding school. Jonathan King helped to promote the group. "It was an invitation to enter Paradise and of course I jumped at it." It didn't quite work out although Stewart has experimented with music: the guitar, the drums and of course, his later obsession the Spanish guitar and Flamenco music. Genesis as you already know, became big without Stewart. Our writer moved on to working in the circus for a spell where he teamed up with Ken Baker.

His experiences in Seville and Granada are heart-warming. An accidental stay in a brothel then on to the Hostal Monreal where everyone strummed their guitars to their hearts' content or indulged in some Flamenco dancing amuses us. It was obvious just how much the writer adored Spain. He wanted to be "olive-skinned and brown-eyed, a deft hand with a sharp knife and an orange, a natural guitarist, a Don Juan." No, it didn't quite work out so he returned to the UK and devoted his passion to farming which he did for the next 20 years and travel.

He did pick-up on Flamenco dance music when he joined a "nice bag of bohemians" in Granada, hoping to revive his guitar-playing Genesis days. After the intensely hot and humid summers the rain eventually offered a welcome relief until the  bridge down river was swept away, cutting the family off, isolating them and the kitchen flooded with 3 inches of water. Twenty-three "receptacles" were dotted around the house where the rain leaked in. Welcome to Spain.

If you enjoyed "Driving Over Lemons" you'll love this too. The good news is that there are more delightful books by Stewart to whet your appetite.

Publisher: Sort of Books.    ISBN: 0-9-535227-5

REVIEW it by Carol Naylor.

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