Deception Unlimited by Betty Woodcock.

With his bloated belly, matchstick legs and tangled punk-rocker style fur, he looked like a child's drawing come to life and he also looked pregnant.

Woodcock overemphasises the message through the plot which has so many twists and turns that you wonder if you are on a rollercoaster which is about to crash: don't be deceived by first impressions. True nature will out. Things aren't always what they seem. Fortunately the bad guys are caught and everything turns out satisfactory after chaos and mayhem dominate the lives of the Bennetts. And this is NOT Pride and Prejudice or the Waltons. As one might say: never a dull moment in the Bennett household.
The Bennetts have more than the average number of skeletons in the closet even for a dysfunctional family at constant war with each other and the world at large, with the occasional truce. The story cleverly satirises a working class family at its worst being battered from pillar to post with drug scams, surrogacy, infidelities and pregnancy scams. It's all there in abundance to entertain and amuse you. Perhaps even confuse you. Crystal Bennett is a battleaxe of a woman, seething that she has been displaced by a Scrubber and you will lose count of the number of times she attacks her estranged husband, Robert trying to kill him with the bread knife. It turns out that he is an innocent party with a squeaky clean image after all (apart from the spell in jail) but worringly, crazy enough to move back in with his loony wife and unpredictable, unstable children: Bryony with the pink hair, Tommy and "it rocks man" Malcolm.
Crystal despises poor Robert when she has hidden secrets that would detonate a bomb and cause destruction on a large scale. The truth will out woman as they say. And what an idiot she seems to be. Robert is a saint in comparison.
These people are sad little people trying to make their lives that bit more interesting so what do they do? Yes you've guessed! They invent stories and they pursue lives full of deception and once their lies are discovered they become neurotically emotional, turning on crocodile tears for show of illusionary remorse. Bryony is a pro at this.
Our heroine, Tommy Bennett, taks us on this frenetic journey returning from a holiday in the States to the realisation that her holdall has been swapped and a disturbing noise from her car boot confirms that something is seriously amiss.
My holdall convulsed and heaved as if about to vomit. startled I stumbled back....
What is inside? Nothing other than a frightened dog, its mouth taped and its feet bound smuggled into the UK for a pretty obvious purpose. A brief mention of gleaming drug-filled condoms and you've cracked it. Was it anything to do with the man on the plane emitting sinister vibes with a saturnine face more akin to the underworld of L.A. or who would do such a thing to a harmless beast of a dog? That's one of the storylines waiting to be unfolded.
Tommy's boss has transformed his garage where Tommy worked as a mechanic into a Speed-Dating Agency because of his car business which had gone belly up with crooks and some dodgy deals and this garage is the main setting for the action with many unwholesome characters coming and going with police activity on overdrive. Gordon is a decent guy just wanting to make a living. He is low in confidence after the scams and his wife's affair. He sees himself more as Ozzy Ostrich ( not Ozzy Osbourne although I see a resemblance) with his head in the sand than George Clooney or for you young ladies, Justin Bieber. Tommy was engaged to Mitch until he shot her but he still gives her goosepimples when he smiles at her. No comment.

As a policeman he breezes in and out of the action like the bad penny that won't go away. Tommy also has this thing with one of the bad boys, Hopshead who has a reputation for getting involved with drugs and irritatingly has a limited vocabulary of "hello gorgeous." He must be okay because he has an Elvis smile. But perhaps he's not one of the baddies after all? Perhaps Tommy is just a poor judge of character. She is after all one of the Bennetts. Say no more.
Just when we think we're on top of it all, we have a Tommy-look-a-like, attacked just outside the garage, followed by a big police investigation to find out who this identical twin is and why she was attacked. What has this got to do with feisty Tommy who spends more time looking pale and droopy like a Victorian heroine being attacked and beaten up? Was she the intended target? More skeletons in the closet and a Charmaine takes centre stage with a phoney French accent and an interesting story of make-believe. Not another Bennett? Is it harmless make-believe or just a bit OTT? Tommy sees through it but what should one expect in the house of secrets or the lives of the Bennett family?
Appearances can be deceptive...it's all a question of psychology or unlimited deception perhaps as you will discover when you read the book!?
Available on ekindle/ereader or Createspace.

 

 
Copyright 2013. Permission to reproduce any of this article must be obtained from the author.

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