Life With No Breaks by Nick Spalding.

                   Life With No Breaks by Nick Spalding.


"There's got to be a point to a book hasn't there? Even one written totally off the cuff like this is."


"Life With No Breaks" was Spalding's first self-published ebook in April 2012-stories so fabricated and embellished that they made politicians' expenses' claims look trivial. He worked as a media officer until he signed a contract with Hodder and Stoughton. He is considered the best-selling self-published author in the UK, having recently signed a six-figure deal.
Two of his other comedies "Love..from Both Sides" and "Love..And Sleepless Nights" were the first and third best-selling self-published ebooks in 2012.

"Life With No Breaks" was meant as a 24 hour non-stop project but in fact took no more than 30 hours before he had accomplished 54,873 words, dare I say gems? Presented as a monologue, he refers to his muse, the reader as his ideal friend, patient and understanding, reading over his shoulder as he writes, nibbling on cookies and sipping tepid or sometimes cold coffee whilst the writer chain smokes and creates amusing anecdotes: "Inspiration is a funny thing. Inspiration hits you between the eyes, sending you into a whirlwind of creativity."

Reflections or ramblings, memoirs or just fantastical anecdotes will entertain you. Humiliating episodes, sexual encounters, a debauched stag do in "the home of sinners and dodgy morality" Las Vegas with large vibrating rubber implements as plastic as the cowgirls outside the Rhinestone club. A bit naughty, huh?

What about Spalding's inexplicable phobia of sponges? Yes I did say sponges. They made him so anxious that he would have handed over his life-savings and his first-born to any mugger who waved a loofah at him! Ha! His bathroom was full of these "malevolent goblins" as he calls them and the room itself resembled a "chamber of horrors."


Then there's the paint-balling for adolescent men. It was meant to be a team-building exercise. Donning the armour and wielding a paintball gun swinging from side to side transformed the author from innocent to Jack Bauer or even Tom Hanks in "Saving Private Ryan." He turned manic, the killer instinct set in once he had been given "carte blanche to shoot other people in the head." Perhaps it wasn't such a  good idea to shoot the client proffering a six figure sum to write and design some promotional material, especially in the neck and considerable paunch? Team destruction? Annihilation?



My favourite had to be great uncle Gerald's funeral service. Worse than Scrooge and regarded as "ze second most evil man of ze 20C" after Hitler. A prime case of the blackest of humours. Uncle Sid, practical joker that he was arranged the event. His eulogy had them crying through so much laughter. As a parting good riddance everyone sang "The Wizard of Oz's" infamous tune of "Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead" followed by plenty of free booze and tasty treats. "Never was a more fitting tribute given to a more deserving individual." Spot the irony there.
Light-hearted, cleverly written and an immensely enjoyable read.

 To date, Spalding has had half a million sales. His modest hope was to be able to make enough money to take his partner out for a meal. Initially sales were low but once the UK Amazon store opened in October 2010 the book started to sell really well. Ten soon turned into a hundred and eventually, he got into the Top 50. "Life with No Breaks" sold 80,000 copies.
In 2012 he published his breakthrough novel "Love....From Both Sides." Spalding refers to it as: "A warts-and-all romantic comedy for everyone who knows how tricky the quest for love can be." He sold a quarter of a million copies and it is the number five best-selling independent book of all time on Kindle. At this point he resigned from his job as Hampshire Police press officer and concentrated on his writing.
He aims to write about 2,000 words a day which could take anything from 2-5 hours. It takes 2-3 months to write a book.
His 14th novel "Bricking It" will be published  in December 2015.
"You get to commute across the hallway in the morning, you get to be your own boss, you get to be creative and-if you're very lucky-you get to earn a decent living." Well he did say that his humour appealed more to a British audience!  (Dominic Midgley.Daily Express. 17th August 2015.)

Publisher: Racket Publishing.             ISBN: 978-146-1164098

Ereader available from Amazon.

Copyright 2014. Permission must be obtained from the author before any of this article review is reproduced.

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